- What’s expected of us
- What the other person wants us to do
- What’s easiest
- What’s society’s definition of the right thing to do
- What’s going to cause the least amount of ruffled feathers
- What would feel good in the moment
- What’s aligned with our core values and our goals
Here’s the thing. Most of us could rattle off an answer to all the bullets on this list…except the last, except what is alignment with our own core values and our goals. We are intimately aware of expectations on us and what society would deem as appropriate. We can anticipate what someone else wants us to do or what choice is least apt to cause a commotion. We can feel in to what’s easy or what would feel good.
But most of us are not connected to our values or our goals.
This is what it means to live in integrity.
We manage a lot of things. A LOT, people! It is not our job to make everyone happy all the time. And everyone’s perception of us is not going to be what we wish it were or what they might expect from us. But if we’re living in integrity then we can let go of useless emotions like guilt or shame.
We have to make peace with the deep knowing that we’re choosing based on deep roots, not on the whims of the wind.