This was me and my family about 8 years ago. I have been blessed to be able to stay home with these munchkins and care for them since my oldest was born 12-1/2 years ago. These years with them hold my most treasured memories, my proudest accomplishments, and an enormous amount of personal growth. When the baby was born I came home from the hospital after 24 hours to a 17-1/2 month old, a 35-1/2 month old, and a pain-in-the-ass dog. The dog went home with Grandma.
I look at my kids now, the youngest in 4th grade, and those years of diapering and nap time are kind of a blur. I remember keeping to a pretty tight schedule. I remember play dates with girlfriends and their babies easing the monotony and offering priceless support. I remember laughing with my husband as we watched the silly things that toddlers do. I also remember speech therapy, occupational therapy, lots of doctors, buckets of tears, temper tantrums, separation anxiety, and running in parking lots. Ahh…to sit and write about it makes the blurry a little more clear. (Note to self: write more about the babies.)
As I was giving so much of myself physically and emotionally those years I was raising babies/toddlers/preschoolers/early-years-of-schoolers, I was also seeking. I was devouring all the personal development materials that came my way. From these years came the construction of a strong, malleable, profound Spirit and a brave, powerful, vulnerable Self. Not only from books and interviews, but from the pure act of mothering itself.
Before children my ambition drove me on my career path in business. Becoming a mother has shifted the direction of this ambition toward altruism and well-being. The energy I used to devote to reading trade publications, learning new software, and business networking I now devote to creating a world that is a web of tender-loving-care. And I know that that all begins with me. If I foster this principle in my self and nurture these core values in my family, it will spread to my community, our country, and the planet.
Things like corporate waste, politics, extreme fundamentalism, and rush hour traffic do not sit well with me. I can’t go back to where I was or who I was before I became a mother. Not that I would want to. But this year I was shown that there was more growth in store for me…so my resume was updated and I was called to direct my time and energy away from my blog, my reading, and my home grown business.
2013 has been nothing if not humbling. The vision I had for my life-work morphed a bit, but after much struggle and resistance, I see that by just embodying the desire for the well-being of the world, I can inspire the people around me, no matter what my environment, or the task I’m performing. My mantra through all of this has been “Maybe this is happening FOR me, rather than TO me.” And it’s true…the path may not always lay out the way we anticipate. But we have to have faith that if we’re connected and committed to our core principles, we’re always being led in the direction that is going to offer us the greatest growth and allow us to make the greatest impact.
I’m not going away. I’ve been a little absent in the past months, but I’m coming back strong in 2014. I simply can’t close this chapter that began around the millennium for me. I have so much more to share and I hope you’ll stick with me as I begin to hone in how to best deliver these messages. Especially while juggling raising three active and divine little people and contributing to my family in a new and prosperous way.
I send blessings and love to all reading this…and everyone who is not! Be safe, be kind, be gentle, and LOVE!
peace and love, Cristin