It was late on a Friday night in December when I got the call that my father had died…
The sound of him laughing at the notion of us moving in together was like a dagger through my heart. I felt like every image of our future I had drawn in my head was just blown away, like dust.
The test read positive. I was pregnant for the third time…in three years. I curled up in a ball on the playroom floor and mourned the mother I always wanted to be.
There are pivot points in all our lives when life as knew it has changed. What was important yesterday no longer holds the same significance. We’re being called.
Sometimes its not a climactic event, but rather it comes as a growing feeling of restlessness, feeling uneasy, misaligned, or lost. I clearly remember sitting frustrated and scared at my kitchen table sobbing and praying to God: “There’s got to be something more than this! What am I supposed to be doing?!”
I was sitting in front of a burning match rather than a raging campfire and I knew it. From that point I couldn’t be still, and I couldn’t go back.
These are times too often people fill the void with vices from the outside–food, shopping, alcohol, a new lover. But we are being called to look deep within–to the core of our BEING and connect with our roots.
What do we value most in life?
What can we not live without?
What do we truly desire?
Like the roots of a tree, these answers keep us grounded and stable when strong winds blow. They keep us from toppling over when life’s storms hit. Without them, when we’re out in the great big world living our great big lives, how do we know we’re living in integrity? Living in integrity means we follow these callings.
All we truly have is right now, this very moment. When we really get present with that we realize that life IS change. Every minute is our opportunity to make a choice toward greatness. To witness the utter beauty of this human experience.