My heart is heavy today. It literally feels heavy in my chest, causing me move slowly about my house, my breathing to be light, my head to be a little foggy. I am keenly aware of a good bit of hurt that is going on around me. Facebook has changed so much. We see little snippets of people’s lives scroll down the screen. I’ve created a community of people by whom I’ve chosen to be my “friend,” and by doing so I am like a peeping tom of sorts. There has been a wave of loss in my little self-created community. Cancer. Awful, ravenous cancer. Sick children. Several family dogs passing. So many requests for prayers. I feel like I’m in a bit of a meditative prayer state right now–my positive energy a bit drained for sharing it with those who need it right now. Mine much more easy to replenish than that of so many of my friends and acquaintances right now.
I am opening myself to hear what I need to hear right now. The election nastiness meant nothing to me. Scandals, gossip, drama…it doesn’t really penetrate my shell. But people are hurting and people are scared–that affects me. One week before Thanksgiving and I’m taking all the pierces and abrasions and holes in my armor and filling them with gratitude. There is so much beauty and love, even amidst the heaviness. I’m lightening my heart with compassion and am listening. I am so thankful for so much. Today I’m going to share smiles with those I encounter as I drift through my day. I crave connections, a sign of mutual understanding that everything is going to be okay. Little intimate moments like this can restore our hope and our light. A smile is the simplest gift to give and I hope that my community feels it today.