A letter to the men in our lives.
Raise your hand if you met a dynamic, intelligent, driven woman a handful of years ago and she decided that marrying you was the an excellent choice for her.
Over all these years she has been a key part of your happiness. You’ve moved a couple times and she has created warm, comfortable homesteads for you. Okay, you helped paint and you mow the lawn and stuff, but let’s be honest…the experience you have when you’re living in your home is due mostly to your lady’s creativity and innate nesting abilities.
Let me just say—I’m not trying to take anything away from you. You do a lot, we know. We’re abundantly grateful for you. I’m trying to show you something though, so hang with me.
You started a family. No doubt you were in awe of what your woman’s body could do and the respect you had for her grew three sizes, like the Grinch’s heart, once she became a Mom. Fast forward all those years—let’s say somewhere between 5-15 years. You’ve had ups and downs in your relationship. You’ve seen your lady flourish and you’ve noticed that she can light up a room no matter where she is. You’ve also seen her struggle as she’s shared with you her feelings of inadequacy, of frustration, and a desire for “something more.”
Remember when your first child was born and within a year was walking? She started talking to you, then reading to you, then sitting next to you eating a cheeseburger asking you about what you were like as a kid. That’s childhood development 101…kids grow up. But you know what? We all continue to grow and learn and develop as we move through our life. And your partner is seeking something. She has ideas to explore, adventures to have, and pieces of her self that she is yearning to rediscover or redefine.
You didn’t really expect that after all this time and all these experiences you’d still have the same dynamic, intelligent, driven woman, did you? All of those traits have grown three sizes (Grinch:heart) and branched out in different directions! And if right now you’re thinking, “actually, these days she’s kind of run down, complains that the kids sucked the brain out of her skull, and if getting out of her PJs is driven then, okay.” That’s real. She’s got work to do, and she knows it.
This woman with whom you have built this life is on a quest. She has gifts to give the world and she’s trying to discover what they are and how to do it. How to shine her bright light in the world…while still fixing dinner, helping with homework, taking care of her Mom, decorating for Christmas, meeting the handyman, and shaving her legs so she can lie next to you in bed every night and still feel sexy.
She’s a fucking rockstar. You know it. Think about that young woman, think about what you’ve created together, think about the changes she has been through, and honor the spiritual journey she is on. Support her. Honor her. Thank her. Treasure her. And watch. Watch what she does. Just as you were in awe of your firstborn when you saw him take off on his bike on his own, you will be in awe of this woman and the impact she makes on people’s lives.
If you’re not already.
And maybe you’re right there with her. Maybe you’re seeking something more meaningful in your life. Two partners that embark on a journey of personal growth together is a super powerful thing. But for today, look in that woman’s eyes and hug her deeply. Know that the love and respect you show her IS part of your path to something greater. And today…maybe today she really needs to know unequivocally that even though she’s years beyond that young woman you first fell in love with, your love and respect continues to grow.