In Feng Shui there is an area of every home and every room that relates to Love & Relationships (it’s the back right third when you’re standing in the doorway–click here to see where it falls on the Bagua Map). When energy flows through your home it changes vibration, and when it hits this area it vibrates on the same energetic level as receptivity. Yes, feelings, emotions, actions, words, and thoughts all carry a vibration. When you are in harmony with the energy in your space, and in this case with the concept of receptivity, you feel vibrant! People, situations, and opportunities are attracted to you. Your wedding song come on the radio. You find a sweet love note from your past. You get a call from that promising date last week. Or here’s a big one–you catch your reflection in the mirror and you smile, deciding you like that person you see.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ~Corinthians 13:4
I’ve heard that passage read at numerous weddings. I wonder if years in to those relationships these words are still heeded. When life settles in–homecare, mortgages, children, finances, health issues, work–often times we are so spent that we get stuck in a vortex of lack. We haven’t made time for our intimate relationships. The stress is such a burden we turn to the person we have chosen to share our life with and say “What about me? I’m missing something from you.” The trouble is when both partners are saying this, you have a couple that is vibrating with scarcity. Ouch. That’s not a harmonious existence, is it?
Receptive: able to hold or receive
So this is the thing: we can’t give what we don’t have. It’s actually this beautiful cycle, for when we develop our love of self, we can be generous with giving our love to others, thus opening ourselves up to receive love, and then we feel overwhelming abundant. To simplify a bit, here are the steps to feeling abundant in the intimate relationships in your life:
1. Love yourself.
Consider: could your own self-hatred, feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness be blocking you from the deep, meaningful relationships you seek?
2. Be generous with your love.
Consider: sometimes when people seem the most unlovable what they need most is your love. And this is the kicker: in giving we receive! When your most intimate relationship is with yourself, its like a love-fest inside when you can love without condition, judgement, or expectation.
3. Be open to receive the love others have to offer.
Consider: maybe your partner hasn’t quite gotten through the “love yourself” part. Maybe they’re doing the best they can with what they have right now (surely they are). You do not have a hole they need to fill–your cup overflows with the love they have to offer you.
4. Be grateful (always!).
Consider: gratitude for what you have is like stoking the love fire within you. And remember with fire, in sharing it you never lesson your flame.
Truly, one of the most nourishing things we can do is to look at those we love, especially in challenging times when life feels like it’s burying you, and ask yourself how you can take care of them. Be gentle. Be kind. Be generous. Light a lamp for them, and see how your own path is illuminated (Buddha).