I’m not going to listen to you tonight. I’m not going to believe the part of you that is the loudest right now. I do not look awful in all of my clothes. My skin does not look like I’ve aged 10 years in the last week. My arms are not the size of my thighs. I’m not the world’s most impatient mom. I’m not cripplingly disorganized. I’m not lazy. I’m not a failure. I’m not. I’M NOT.
Like its trapped in the cellar, I can hear the other voice, my voice of reason, my true voice, yelling. She’s pleading to me in the calmest tone, “Don’t listen. You KNOW better. Think higher. You are a beautiful soul. Don’t be trapped and persuaded by the worldly voices.” I hear the muffled message but I literally feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
What is it with the self-loathing? What is it with comparisons and expectations? Putting our souls in a human body brings emotions and hormones and inevitable change that we need to adjust to as we walk on this Earth. Sometimes its exceptionally challenging to stay connected to our higher selves. Sleep is a good re-charger. Realizing that the louder negative voice is dominating, shutting down our bodies for a fresh start the next day is always a good plan.
I’m being challenged to find the beauty that is me. We all have it. When we operate from a place of love, people recognize our beauty. We believe it. We see it in others–it’s contagious.
I remind myself that I am a soul having a human experience. I am flawed and that in itself is beautiful…if I can embrace and accept these flaws. I am insurmountably blessed. Closing this day of battle with myself by visualizing the things I’m grateful for will set me up for a better day tomorrow. We all have these days, and we’re being called to be gentle. To deny the abusive voice and connect with the light within us. Tomorrow is going to be better. I will make it so.
Blessings, and good night~